All Of This

I used to have so many people in my life.

Within the past 3 months I've lost one of my best friends and one of my sisters. (not literally)

It was all my fault, and I apologize.

Mikayla.

I asked her to stop talking to my ex-boyfriend because he was stalking me. At the time, I could only see my point of view and I couldn't understand why she refused to stop talking to him. They were friends but not as long as me and her were friends (17 years). I was being selfish. And now we are no longer friends. I just sat around and waited for her to apologize, but I'm the one who is sorry. I forgive her for choosing my ex-boyfriend over me. We were growing apart as friends, and I think she is better off without me in her life. Mikayla, we've had quite a friendship. Nothing will come close to it.


Breanna.

My sisters and I have never really been close. Breanna and her twin Kelsey were always close and I was just kinda there. But when I moved home from college, we became super close. My friends and her friends would even hang out once in awhile. Then I started hanging out with one of my guy friends alot who also happened to be good friends with Breanna's ex-boyfriend. One thing led to another and one night my sister's ex kissed me. I wasn't planning on telling Breanna because I didn't want her to think that "we" had kissed, because I was taken off guard when this kiss happened and I didn't want to make it a bigger deal than it was. But I suck at lying so I ended up telling her. She blamed it all on me and we've never been the same since. She deleted me from Twitter and Facebook; we live in the same house and never say a word to each other. I apologized to her but she's not the type to see the big picture. She still talks to her ex because she "loves"  him. I would have done anything for her before this all happened. But I have come to realize that I have loved my younger sisters my whole life, but to them, I'm just here for when they need something, like a ride or money. We're sisters by blood but not by relation. These past couple of months I have felt like an only child. I'm the only one I know who isn't close with her siblings. My mom painted the phrase "Family is Forever" on our living room wall but I roll my eyes every time I see it because we've never been that kind of family and never will.


The saying I live by is Let It Be, so that's what I'm going to do now and forever, and may things fall into place how they're meant to be.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYeXcLr3NRQ